I dated a man for over two years and felt we had a future. Divorced, 57, no kids. Divorced with two adult children, he’s 58. He first maintained he was staying with his parents to care for his ailing father. It’s been almost three years!
I lost four offers on his parents’ properties. It appears the world is against my house ownership and proximity to his family. It may work out. He smokes marijuana regularly, which is likely the issue. He’s unmotivated.
His unreliability, lateness, and poor communication annoy me. I like him, and we get along well. No change. I want a partner and a house now. Should I wait and hope or break up with him? I’m torn. I’ve broken up with him several times, yet we always get back together. Arizona anxiety
Please Zonked lover looks satisfied with the status quo.
Dear Anxious: I’m torn between telling you what to do and helping you decide for yourself. First, prioritize your goals. Write down how many you’ve accomplished with this stoner. Do his ambitions mirror yours?
He may not be horrible, but he seems content to live with his parents for the foreseeable future. If you just want to hang out with him, that’s ok. If not, tell him you need more than he can provide and walk on—this time for good.
Dear Abby: One of our mom’s three siblings snapped selfies with her in the casket. They did it all funeral. Mom and Grandma instructed us not to photograph caskets. We and some relatives were stunned.
Can I politely stop people from taking photographs of the deceased? Should you state that no cameras are allowed and that violators will be removed? Should the funeral home or family handle this? — MORBID
DEAR SIMPLE MORBID: Everyone grieves differently. Some cultures photograph the deceased in their coffin. (It may also help grief.)
Your aunts and uncles should have been allowed to take “selfies” during the funeral. If you prefer to avoid photos at subsequent funerals for immediate family members, tell the funeral director before the ceremony.